Hello there, how are you?
I’m doing fine. What is your name?
My name is Donald. I was named after the great Donald Tennant, of The Great War.
That is very interesting, my name is William; but I don’t think I’m named after anyone. Tell me Donald, what exactly is it that you do?
I work at an ice cream factory, and I taste test each and every batch.
I wan’t aware that that was a job. Do you enjoy your work?
I thought I would, but come to find out; I am intolerant of lactose. By the time I figured this out, I had already gotten two promotions and a company car. I think about quitting everyday, as I test that day’s Neapolitan or Rocky Road or what have you; but the pay is just too damn good. I payed off my house and put all three of my kids through college with that job.
Wow, are there any opening available? That sounds like a wonderful job, given you aren’t afflicted with lactose intolerance.
You can’t just walk in and start tasting ice cream. You have to spend years developing your pallet. I spent six years in Thorton’s Academy for Ice Cream Testing and Tasting. I graduated with honors, and won the national taste off three years straight. Only then was I given a courtesy interview. It took six months and nine more interviews before I was hired.
Wow, I had no idea that ice cream tasting was such a prestigious job!
I know, it’s the doctors and the astronauts whom all the children want to grow up to be; but no one ever even considers ice cream tasting.
Well, it sounds like a hard enough job to get already, I’ll bet you’re glad that there isn’t as much competition.
I’m not worried about competition, it’s hard work. Those who don’t devote their entire beings to ice cream testing are quickly weeded out. Not just anyone can handle the constant pressure and frequent brain freezes. On a rough day, I can get upwards of eight brain freezes, eight! You think just anyone can do that?
Still, a few brain freezes; that’s all? It doesn’t sound THAT bad. (Aside from your lactose intolerance, that is).
Oh yeah, what do you do then, hot shot?
I work for a florestry, smelling all the roses. It is up to me to make sure that each and every rose is up to code with the appropriate fragrance and sweetness levels.
Oh please, that’s nothing.
On contraire, my friend. Sometimes a rose isn’t up to code, and smells rather bland. One time I even pricked my index finger on a thorn. That was a rough day indeed!
Pffft!
And I’ll tell you this, it took a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to get where I am today. I started out smelling daffodils and buttercups. No one respects a buttercup sniffer! No, it took me seven years, but eventually I got to roses. I am the king of all flower sniffers. It may be incredibly draining, both physically and emotionally, but every day I go home proud and fulfilled; knowing that because of me the world is just a little bit better that it was before.
Oh please, a robot could do your job.
What ever, at least I couldn’t be replaced my a six year old who ate his vegetables!
You take that back!
No, I meant every word of it.
Oh yeah….
Jeez,is that a gun?!
Yep. Not so hight and mighty now, are we?
Well, I too just so happen to be packin’.
I’ll give you one last chance to apologize, and say that ice cream testing is not only a harder job, but a more important one.
In your dreams, Gassy McGas-Pants!
Bang!
Bang!
